And We're Off, Like a Herd of Turtles

It's that time again: Another month has passed, and the blog needs an update. If you've read any of the older entries, you'll notice a pattern of posting where there's a longer pause between updates during these contract and preparation periods, and more of a flutter of blog activity as we get into some of the more exciting surrogacy events. There are two main reasons for this. First, the contract and preparation periods are tediously long and rather boring. Second, as you may know by now from this blog, I am not a patient person, so I don't take the long, slow waiting as well as one might hope. More frequent updates from me during this period may come out as "Still no *@^$*# contract yet," and no one wants to read my constant Debbie Downer frustrations without some good news to help wash it down. With that said, brace yourself for a flurry of blog excitement on the horizon.

Exactly a month ago, I closed with "Here's hoping we have a signed contract next week. If so, we'll be right on track for a transfer in the last week of May." And then the gods laughed and laughed. T'was not meant to be for an end of May transfer. We experienced two major hiccups to the plan. First was that Wes and Mandy's attorney *must* get paid by the hour. I can't think of any other explanation for why someone would hold onto this document for days and weeks on end without signaling forward progress. Holy buckets! I have never seen someone work so slowly in my life. Working with her has led to me the conclusion that if I ever find myself in the situation of doing another stork contract and the IPs select her as their attorney, it's an automatic deal breaker for me. I have also decided that I would rather be subjected to an angry hoard of starving fire ants with no route of escape than to wrap myself up in another several month long contract negotiation, especially with that attorney or any others like her. But I digress. There was a secondary hold up as well.

Back in early April when we all visited the RE, Mandy and Wes also had to have blood drawn to meet FDA testing requirements for transferring the embryos to a third party (me!). Normally, IPs will have this done at the time of egg retrieval and/or sperm collection, but Mandy and Wes did not intend to use a surrogate at the time of their embryo creation, so the RE had no reason to run those tests at that time. Now that we're getting ready to start cycling, they need those results on file before we can get started. It was about two weeks after the results for Mandy, me, and Scott had come back that everyone started to question where Wes' results were. After some digging into it, the answer was that the lab lost his blood sample. This is quite problematic, as Wes is working an out-of-country job assignment, so he doesn't have access to lab to get another sample drawn quickly. It took about a week to get another sample drawn and submitted, but alas, the contract still wasn't done, so we waited patiently for the results. About a week ago, as we were all trying our hardest to pry the final draft of the contract out of the attorney's death grip, we got an email from the clinic saying that one of the infectious disease markers on Wes' blood panel came back positive, and that we would need to do some additional steps before proceeding. The positive result was for a relatively inconsequential virus and indicated a very old exposure that Wes had fully recovered from. Still, I had to have an antibody titer done to assess my immunity to it, meet with an infectious disease specialist to talk about the risk of contracting the virus from the embryo (highly improbable) and sign an FDA form stating that I assume that risk in moving forward with the transfer. Amazingly, I was able to whip through all of that in two days AND put some ink on the signature line of the contract last Tuesday. It was like some kind of post-Mother's Day miracle! Still holding the wet pages with a look of shock and awe on my face, the box of medications arrived on Saturday in order for me to start my first Lupron injection today.

We're cooking with gas now! We may still be a month away from transferring, but we have some dates to look forward to in that time span. I'll start Lupron tonight and my first monitoring appointment will be May 26, with two more monitoring appointments on June 2 and June 5. Then I'll fly out to the clinic on the 11th for our frozen single embryo transfer on June 12. This stork is officially no longer on standby; let the oven pre-heat begin!

Stork 951, This is Ground Control, You're Cleared for Take Off

I think I've kept you all in suspense long enough. A month ago I was on the fence between the local IPs through the agency or the independent match IPs on the East Coast with the picky clinic. After much discussion with Scott and the East Coast clinic, I decided that the independent match was the way to go, and the medical screening date was set. The IPs, Mandy and Wes, already have 4 frozen PGD tested embryos, so once we traverse the gauntlet that is screening and contracts, we'll be ready to transfer.

After a thorough review of my records, the clinic called to schedule the medical screening. Scott and I flew out there last week with 3 of the 4 kids in tow. We met up with Mandy and Wes on the first night that we arrived and had a wonderful dinner together. This was the first time meeting in person, and they were as sweet and wonderful as they were over Skype. I'm really quite happy to be working with such a wonderful couple. While still in their early thirties, they have had multiple unexplained early losses that led them to visit a few reproductive specialists who determined that several auto-immune factors were to blame for the losses and that Mandy would not be able to successfully carry a pregnancy. That prompted them to act quickly to locate a surrogate to carry the embryos that they had already created. Those efforts led us all to the clinic last week where their RE did a saline sonogram of my uterus, took 7 (yes, SEVEN) vials of blood, and we all sat down for some psychological evaluations and group discussions. It really was an interesting day, and we all enjoyed seeing each other again. As we left, Mandy gave me a box of the medications that she had been sent in preparation for her own transfer prior to learning the results of her infertility testing.

When we got back to the hotel, Scott asked me how we were going to get the box back with us because it was full of needles and we had only traveled with carry-on luggage. I decided to ship it rather than deal with it at the airport - seemed simple enough of a solution. After printing the shipping label and preparing the box for shipment, we took off for the airport. Not being natives of the East Coast, we were unaware that we really couldn't get off of a turnpike once we got on it, and this particular turnpike dropped us at the airport. No problem, there had to be some FedEx drop box somewhere in the airport, right? Wrong again. At this point, we only had a little over an hour until our flight left, so my options were to carry it on or check it. The airline counter was swarming with passengers checking bags, so I asked if I needed to check it based on the needles, or if I could carry it on. They told me that I could carry it on as long as there were prescription labels on the medications. Great!

Off to security we went with 5 rolling bags, 3 kids and a suspicious looking box. At every opportunity, I told the TSA agents "I have medications including needles, how do you want me to proceed?" They were all great, said "No problem" and scanned everything as usual. We passed through the metal detectors to the swabbing area where everything that was swabbed was normal except the box of medications that lit up their machine like a Christmas tree. The agent, again, very nice, did a full pat down on me, swabbed me and the box again, and came up with the same electrifying result. Awesome. She then tells me that the protocol dictates that they call in the explosives expert who arrives about 10 minutes later. He goes through the course of events with the TSA agent, explains to her that there are certain medications that will produce a false positive, then tells me that he has to do a full search of my luggage and person.

While he removed and photographed every item in my bag, the TSA agent did a very thorough body search, then they sent every item through the scanner again. Interestingly enough, they never opened the box of meds and actually looked inside - only scanned it twice. Once he had everything documented, he thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. We ran for the gate where we saw the last few passengers boarding. Whew, we cut it close on the time, and am I ever glad that I did the online check-in the night before!

A week later, we're home and back to our regular routines. The clinic called a few days ago to say that everything came back negative/normal, and we're ready to go once we have a signed contract. Lest I bore you all to death with the tedious details of the contract process, suffice it to say that Mandy and Wes' attorney doesn't have the same sense of urgency with the contract drafts as the rest of us do. We finally decided that the best way to make progress was for the three of us to have a long conference call to make all of the final decisions on the modifications that had been proposed, and then send them to their attorney to incorporate as the final draft. We did that 3 days ago, and are now waiting for her to send it back to all of us for final approval and signatures. Here's hoping we have a signed contract next week. If so, we'll be right on track for a transfer in the last week of May.

To Be or Not To Be

That is the question on this very important day. Today is July 23rd; the last business day before July 24th, the all-important first day of cycle medications. This is the day that all paperwork must be completed by in order to be on schedule for the transfer on August 26. For all of you out there making bets on whether it would really get done and signed in time, the final answer is.... kind of.

A full 9 days ago, I optimistically hoped it would be done in 48 hours... and then the gods laughed and laughed and laughed. It was a week of little to no news, pacing, nail biting, calendar watching stress. The nurse coordinator from the IVF clinic emailed me yesterday nervously asking if it was done yet, and I passed along the anxiety in kind to my attorney to see if she had heard anything from Ellie and Matt's attorney yet. While there was no official response, the nurse coordinator went ahead with sending the medications, and we all slept uneasily on it for another night. This morning I received a somewhat panicked email from Ellie and Matt that they had received the final version of the contract and were ready to sign it, but the one and only representative from the surrogacy agency that has to witness their signing and notarize the contract, unexpectedly went out of town and won't be back until Monday the 28th. Did I mention that dealing with this agency makes my teeth itch? Regardless, we have the finished contract in hand, and that's a win all on it's own. In the meantime, Ellie and I came up with a plan where my husband and I will sign and notarize the contract today, send it back to the attorneys this afternoon, and then Ellie and Matt will have it in their possession while waiting on the agency rep to return, allowing them to execute their portion. This was agreeable to the nurse coordinator in terms of starting the medications tomorrow and will keep us on schedule. As I said 23 days ago: coo coo cachoo, we have a completed contract... kind of.

Now comes the fun (?) part. I'll be giving myself an injection of Lupron in the abdomen once per day starting tomorrow for the next 28 days. I've rationalized that it's a tiny little insulin needle, and I've built up a nice "protective layer" over my abs, so this shouldn't hurt a bit. I'll let you know how that goes. The Lupron is very important though, as it will quiet my ovaries and prevent me from releasing an egg of my own during this process. We want to be VERY sure that the only little storkie in this adventure is Ellie and Matt's! So tomorrow is day 1, the beginning of an exciting and highly anticipated stork adventure. Let's do it!

Don't Stop... Believin'...

I'm tired. Exhausted, really. It seems crazy; the process hasn't even really begun yet, but I'm totally wiped out. My work schedule has been particularly hectic in the past 6 weeks, and the paperwork of the stork adventure has continued to steadily roll in. I keep remembering how tired I get in the first trimester of pregnancy and thinking that I can't imagine adding that onto how worn out I am at this point. Luckily, the projects I have at work are dwindling down again, and we're close to the summit of Mt. Paper-manjaro, so hopefully I'll be able to catch up on some rest before I start incubating the storkie.

Here we are, two weeks since my last post, and we don't yet have a signed contract in place. That sweet, 10-day cushion that I boasted about is wearing a wee bit thin, but it looks like we're on the brink of success. Ellie, Matt and I have been through the first draft of the gestational agreement, conferences (very. long. conferences.) with our respective attorneys, and a fun little game of 'telephone' between our attorneys. I think we're lucky: We had a great foundation to our relationship before the attorneys were involved, and we worked through every contractual point that we could think of before sending it over for the attorney to draft. Still, the process has been mind-numbingly tedious. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for intended parents and surrogates that have had very little communication. Needless to say, we're looking forward to applying some ink to those pages and putting this part of the process behind us. I'm cautiously optimistic that we'll be doing just that in the next 48 hours. I mean, really: Have my time estimates ever been wrong during this process? Wait... nevermind, don't answer that.

Rules of Engagement

It's been quite some time since my last update, but as things go in a stork adventure, there's a lot of slow and tedious work to do be done up front. I look forward to the entries that will tell you all about how the little storkie is growing and moving, kicking up a storm, and demanding bizarre treats at all hours of the day and night. With patience we will get there, but today it's all about contracts and legal procedure.

When we left off a month ago, Ellie and Matt had sent our contractual plans to the CFO of the agency, and we all waited for a contract draft to come our way. I can't speak for Ellie and Matt, but I had a great amount of patience in the first two weeks. Early on in the process, one of the agency directors had mentioned that the typical timeline of the contract phase was 2 weeks to draft the document, and 2-4 weeks of conferring with attorneys while requested changes are made and sent to each others' attorneys for review and further conference. Seems reasonable. So by week 3 I was starting to wonder how things were going (not that I would dare to check in with the agency!). I was counting weeks and days left until July 23 - the day that the contract has to be signed and notarized by all parties, in order to do the transfer on the date scheduled in August - and trying to not get impatient. Ellie emailed me at the 3 week point with great news: The draft would be sent to her within the next 3-5 days. We both went back to our day to day activities while we waited, and we were both completely swamped at work; sufficiently distracted. Five days later, Ellie's attorney contacted her to say that it would be another 4 days before the draft would be done, so back to the distraction of work we went. Life was bustling for both Ellie and I; besides work, all of my kids were out of school and in the full swing of summer activities. We can't even sit down for 10 minutes at our house without having to run out the door to the next activity. Again, it's nice to not be hovering over my email inbox waiting for it to ping. However, when we passed the 4 week mark, and got to the (second) date that the attorney promised the draft and there was still no draft, I was starting to lose my patience. Ellie's attorney sent her a message saying that it would be done early the following week. When it finally arrived in Ellie's inbox (after 4 weeks and 5 days), I have to admit that her attorney did a great job. It was VERY thorough (75 pages!) and sufficiently accurate. After taking a few days to read it over and make comments, Ellie, Matt and I Skyped to discuss our comments and thoughts. We were all quite happy with how it turned out and had only a handful of minor changes, so they were able to send it back to their attorney at the end of last week.

As of today, we're in great shape to finish the contract in time for our target transfer date in August. My attorney should be receiving the completed contract today or tomorrow, we'll have a conference call to review it on Monday, and coo coo cachoo: we'll have a completed contract! This, a full 10 days before we are scheduled to start meds for the transfer. And you were worried that our 9 week lead time wouldn't be enough. Pssshh, we just like living that close to the edge.

So it's time to roll up our sleeves and get to work on the really exciting part of this adventure. Let's make some scientific magic happen! We need to get everything prepped with an impressive, month-long medication protocol involving lupron, estrogen, and progesterone. The countdown is on: 24 days to the first injection. Did I mention that I'm needle-phobic?? I'll be back to let you all know how this goes.