Gearing Up for a Stork Adventure

Several weeks ago, I was pondering the struggles of a friend that has been unable to create a family. I really felt for her and what she was wanting so badly to have in her life. I thought about how inconsiderate it must feel to her when I complain about my misbehaving children or joke about giving them away. I wondered about the extent of her infertility; Is her difficulty in getting pregnant, or carrying the pregnancy, or both? Does she have the ability to ovulate fertile eggs? What infertility treatments has she investigated? Then a random thought hit me: If the problem is only in gestating the future fetus, I've got a perfectly good oven that I don't plan on ever using again. I would be more than happy to lend the space to her if she needs it. After some time and serious consideration between my husband and I, that entire conversation played out with her. I didn't expect a decision in that moment, or any time soon for that matter (whether or not to add a family member is a huge decision not to be taken lightly!), but after talking with her, I just couldn't shake this feeling that this is something that I really want to do for potential parents that have struggled through the heartbreak of infertility.

As a woman in my early thirties, I am very fortunate to be a mother of four - two babes that I gave birth to, and two bonus babes that were a package deal when I married my husband. Our family and home lives are very well-established, and we have no desire to add any more siblings to our wild brood. But with several years of fertility ahead of me, I realized that I have the ability to provide this wonderful opportunity to a couple in need. So, as I give my friend an abundance of time to consider all of her options, including if using a gestational surrogate is something that she and her husband would ever want to do, I have decided to move forward with providing this opportunity to another set of potential parents in the meantime.

I heavily researched the process, agencies, articles and forums dedicated to surrogacy. I learned all of the acronyms and listened to all of the joyfully triumphant success stories, as well as all of the tear-filled accounts of intended parents and surrogates alike whose experiences did not unfold as expected. There were as many cautionary tales as excitement-filled birth stories, and as many articles and discussion threads on contracts and agencies as there were on embryo transfers, pregnancies and deliveries. I spent a great amount of time reading and wrapping my mind around the logistics and emotions of the entire process, and then started feeling out a few agencies. I stuck with my intuition when I contacted and communicated with each of them, rejecting some and moving forward with only those that I felt comfortable with. After a few days, the right agency was obvious to me. The director was coming through my town the next day and called to ask if I would have a lunch meeting. We sat and talked for about an hour and half, and again, my intuition told me that this was exactly who I wanted to help me find a great set of parents to help out on this journey. It's now been a week since I finished my paperwork with them, so I'm now in standby mode, patiently waiting for them to introduce me to some potential parents in need of a stork.